Sorry

This is a little poem I wrote for all of the people I've hurt in my past weather if it was intentional or not. I know some things was a lie and I'm not saying sorry for some lie someone created to get back at me or for what ever reason. I'm saying sorry for the things I've done even if I know it or not and this poem fits best for every situation I was in to lose that person that meant something to me. Some people I lost just all a sudden stopped talking to me and I don't know the reason (going back to "even if I know it or not".) I have tried to fix things with each person I've lost but they either don't talk to me or tell me off. So here is the poem I wrote...

I know I've done wrong
Weather I know the cause or not
And there's nothing I can do
No time machine
Not even a wish on a shooting star
To go back to the past
And take it all back
Now I'm left with memories
Consuming my soul
Wishing things were different
But you keep shoving me away
I tell you things would be better
If I had that second chance
To mend what was broken
And show you my potential
To be the friend you deserve
And show you the good of my soul
You show me through your actions or words
I've hurt you too much
And that you can't handle it anymore
Scared of history to repeat
Scared of the pain I'll bring
But I promised you and this isn't a lie
It won't happen again
I just hope you'll see from the bottom of my heart
I'm very sorry

DRUGS!!

"Hello, my name is DRUGS - I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that's just the start. I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold. and if you need me, remember I'm easily found, I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. My power is awesome; try me you'll see, but if you do, you may NEVER break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul. When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in my arms. You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad. When you see their tears, you should feel sad. 'But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised, I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from god, and separate friends. I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side. You'll give up everything... your family, your home... your friends, your money, then you'll be alone. I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live. If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I'll drive you insane. I'll ravish your body; I'll control your mind. I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine. The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, the voices you'll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me, But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You'll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say? I'll be your master; you will be my slave, I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me , what will you do? Will you try me or not? Its all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, LET ME LEAD YOU TO HELL!!" -Unknown

I believe every word of this to be true because I've tried drugs and it did practically only that to me. It broke me, broke my relationships, and screwed up my schooling. If I could go back I would have never started it in the first place. 'But what's done is done and I can't take it back. Luckily, I got off the drugs and I'm trying to rebuild my life again. To make a better and a new start in my life. I'm proud of myself and others are too proud of me for my achievement. I'm never going back because I don't want history to repeat itself. I don't ever want to go back to it ever. I don't care how tempted I get or who tries to temp me, I won't do it. For others that does drugs or is thinking about doing it... trust me it's not worth the pain it brings. The one that does drugs go get help and make a new beginning. Your life will shine brighter without the drugs because it will only bring you down.

Psychic Reading

My dear Alison,

As your advisor and spiritual guide and because I am concerned about your happiness, I have undertaken this Emergency Priority Reading for the next few months for you. As you know, if you called on me one day it wasn’t by chance. If you contacted me it was because deep down you felt that I could help you and show you the road to follow.

My aim is to advise you and guide you in this extraordinary adventure of the search for happiness. And one thing is sure, you can’t do this alone. That’s why I am here for you’ll need that help, I know. You are going through a difficult time right now in the sense that your emotiveness is getting you into trouble and you are a little lost in the middle of this emotional fog.

As a result, you are unable to make the right and objective decisions for your near future. The least error of appreciation or judgment could have unfortunate consequences for your personal fulfillment. So it is important for you and your well-being to be careful of the choices and decisions you make.

Alison, as soon as I started working on your current situation I focused for a long time on your last name and your first name, Alison and on your horoscope. Then I let the energies invade me and entrust their message and feeling about your psychic situation. I spread a deck of tarot cards before me and let the heavenly energies guide me to choose a few of them.

An intense flow of emotions of all types took “possession” of my body. It was as though I was “entering” your psychic being and I felt all your sensations, good or bad.

First I felt a deep emotional unease. I think there is a real conflict between your energies but on the other hand I also felt that this could very quickly be solved in a very short time. Today you are in the middle of this emotional conflict. You call into question all your feelings and relationships, perhaps because you feel you have done too much in vain. And this may very well be the case. You are exhausted and as a result doubt the true nature of everything and everyone at the same time. Concentrating further, I also felt a deep resentment. Has someone betrayed you or disappointed you? I think that the expression of this anger confirms what I felt and what I am explaining. You let your emotions and feelings get the best of you and this isn’t the best attitude to adopt. This saddens you and eats away at you in particular and it entirely skews your judgment and your assessment of people and life!

Alison, before getting down to brass tacks and telling you in detail of what you can expect in the next few weeks and months, an overview of the situation is required:

Excess emotiveness and sensitivity never does anyone any good, on the contrary. Anger and hate alter the person harboring these emotions. It is essential to know how to let go and take a step back. It is necessary sometimes to call oneself into question. If you are disappointed by someone it is perhaps because you were expecting too much from that person. You undoubtedly know the proverb “If you want something done right, do it yourself”. Be tolerant and understanding; you have more important things to do than judging others and worrying about it. Because I can assure you, happier days on are on their way, and quickly!

Your zodiacal conjunction is about to change. Many opportunities will rise in your sky and this will be time to get things moving. Luck will enter in several areas of your life and more particularly as love is concerned. I insist on this aspect of your personality for I know you are a loving person and that it is your emotions that govern your life. I hate to say this but this is going to have to change because otherwise you risk reproducing certain past failures.

That is why I ask that you very carefully read these predictions that I have drawn up for you. Then I’ll have other important revelations for you and which you surely don’t expect. So for each important subject of your life, I drew a tarot card. And here is what the oracles have revealed to me about your future:

LOVE – RELATIONSHIPS - WORK:

As I briefly explained, you are in a period of self-doubt and self-questioning. You wonder about your relationships with others and about the quality of those relationships. You ask yourself what is your real role within your circle of friends, your family or your couple. Don’t fear, happy days are soon to come but first there are a few thresholds to cross.

Your current situation:

When I turned over the first card, I immediately became aware of the importance of your emotional life and relationships. I drew major arcanum number 13, Temperance. This card seems to indicate that you should be patient rather than hurry things too quickly. Today you think that things aren’t moving quickly enough. You feel that you are in a sort of “waiting room”. You are waiting and this situation weighs on you for you would like things to be better. This card suggests that even if you think that things aren’t moving forward they are moving according to the vast plan that Destiny has in store for you.

Alison, you should consider the next few months and next few weeks to be a phase of slow but constant evolution that will contribute to a more balanced emotional life and relationship.

Alison, this card also taught me many other things about your love life. You are in the middle of an emotional storm. You are fighting body and soul to give all your love to others but you have the impression that you don’t get what you deserve. You are a loving person and you need recognition to feel fulfilled. You deserve this recognition and you feel you deserve it. You’re right, you do. However, you don’t get in return as much as you give and feel this as a shortfall. Something is missing for you to feel really good. It’s a little like you were missing a limb.

This draw also enabled me to distinguish the person you are. You are sensitive and highly emotional. As soon as you feel you are not getting the recognition you deserve you freeze and close up to others. You close yourself in your bubble and position yourself as a victim. As result you don’t even see the signs of affection people show you.

I understand your reaction. It simply shows your pain and suffering. I think that if you’ve reached this point it’s because you were heartily disappointed in the past. You’ve been trapped by your own personality. You have been a victim of your own overflow of affection. You see goodness everywhere and don’t doubt for a second that some people can be grasping and scornful.

Now it’s time for this to stop and for you to find the right balance of your emotions and feelings. You have to find the right balance between throwing yourself headlong into a situation and closing up. You have to balance your sense of sharing and know how to see who deserves your affection and who does not. It is time that you know how to dose the quantity of love you give according to the love you receive.

Future development

I drew the Ace of Swords. Once again my first impressions were right. This card is a very good omen and reinforces that sensation I felt during my “meditation”. You are entering a new life cycle. The Ace of Swords symbolizes this new cycle. This card suggests courage, determination, will. It is a success card if you stand firm and adopt a resolutely positive attitude. Certain success awaits you if make the decision to have things change and evolve towards a better future.

Alison, all the past efforts will now be rewarded both at work and in love. I see a real step up on the ladder of happiness and success. You will open up and will be considered for your true value. You will also earn respect and recognition.

Emotionally, because I know this is your main concern, you will be more lucid and clear-sighted. Your emotional sensitivity will be more balanced and this will make you more aware of the moods and states of mind of others. You will strongly feel the emotional energy given off by the people around you such as anger, sadness, joy, envy, jealousy etc. You’ll intuitively know what others think and feel. That is why you will be able to avoid being around people with negative thoughts with respect to you and who can influence you in a harmful way.

As a result, you will know how to surround yourself with the right people and receive the love you deserve… and that you need. This will allow you to fulfill yourself and accordingly gain in self-assurance and self-confidence. You will be more open because you will be happier. And people will never tire of your company, on the contrary! Your charm will leave no one indifferent.

Thanks to these new capabilities for clear-sightedness and wisdom, your ideal and reality will tend to balance out harmoniously in your love life. As a result you will be in an excellent psychic position to think about their reciprocal relationship. This will be the time to ask yourself how you “ideally” see your life. You may thus know how to act so that your ideal becomes your reality…

In addition, the planetary configuration with the influence of the moon in your zodiac suggests an increase in your power of attraction. Yes, you will feel like tasting all the pleasures of life and living every moment to the full. Benefiting from an intoxicating intense aura, it won’t be difficult for you to please and seduce. Be careful, though, of giving too much all at once. Remember, it is essential that you think first of your personal well-being before “sacrificing” yourself for others…

LUCK

Alison, change is in the air. Yes I drew the 3 of Swords upside down for you. This card seems to indicate that the period of “rest”, of standstill is at an end. It is time to start again and devote all your energy and thoughts to new projects, a new job, or a new activity.

This card means: “Wake up because now the time for action has come”. This card suggests to me to tell you that you must absolutely “move” and adopt a constructive and positive attitude. You have within you all the capabilities to do what you want or what you would like to do. Move forward, the next months will be propitious to new undertakings, new meetings…

In my opinion, and I’m almost certain, luck will enter your life through the front door! You will be rewarded for your past efforts. Divine Providence watches over you and wants to crown you with the success you deserve!

This will be an excellent period to try to bring some of your projects to fruition even if this seemed impossible in the past. You are protected by your lucky star and luck will thus be on your side.

Opportunities to increase your centers interest will be plenty whether this concerns your professional life or cooperation with an influential person could also happen and enable you to make a huge leap forward. This may be the time to widen your circle of friends or get closer to achieving your personal ambitions.

Alison, everything points to a great many opportunities arising for you, opportunities undoubtedly under the sign of luck and success. If you act “intelligently” and with wisdom everything could simply fall at your feet!

MONEY

I drew the Page of Swords in its normal position which seems to indicate that during the next few months you’ll benefit from several strokes of luck. This card always announces news you did not expect: a bonus, a windfall, winnings. When I concentrated on this card I perceived good news that would arrive in your mailbox. And if I continue to refer the impressions I felt, I definitely see events bringing certain and undoubtedly positive changes to your life.

However, despite this possible influx of money, you should always act with care and reflection. Don’t make spontaneous purchases or “throw money out the window”. Make sure you always make wise choices that prove beneficial for you and your well being.

Keep in mind that you must always make an effort to obtain what one wants. What I mean is that despite this unexpected windfall, you must also show your self-sufficiency and make efforts to preserve this “purse”. It is by counting on you and only on you that you will create your financial capital.

Music

"Feel the rhythm of our hearts. Singing a beautiful melody. Just like the famous Mozart. Turning it into perfect ecstasy. Using the power of our bewitching love. We create a memory to be withheld. Soaring through the skies above. Together we excel."

 

I wrote this song like two weeks ago but never finished it. This is the only part I have to this song (first verse) and I can't figure out the rest (damn writers block). I wrote this song dedicated to my wonderful boyfriend. Well lately all I've been writing is love songs dedicated to him. It's sad I can't think of anything else to write when what's on my mind majority of the time is my love. I'm not saying it's a bad thing... I just need more variety. Also, My guitar playing hasn't changed, people keep saying most of my guitar tunes sound the same. Mostly in my strumming... I hate that my guitar playing is limited. I do practice a lot but all I know is basic chords. I do try to find new chords that I make up to help change my sound. I don't know I probably have to give up on playing guitar with my songs. Anyways, I love music its been a huge part of my life. When I play my music, I just get lost in them and people says it turns out great. I take pride in my music but I do sometimes get a little insecure. I don't let it get to me because I know my music is unique and beautiful. I know I have the star like quality in me so I don't stop and I'll never stop making music. Even if I don't become a famous singer which my boyfriend probably wouldn't approve of anyways. I think its because he don't want to lose me (to someone else or who I am) and be apart from me for long (he gets paranoid about things aka paranoia it runs in his family). 'But if I do get a chance of fame, I wouldn't pass it up because I want to share my music. Be able to use my fame to help change the world in some way. Also, with the money I make... I'll give to those who needs it the most. Besides that music makes me happy, it helps me express myself and let things out I've been bottling in. Welp that's all I got for now... Peace, Love, and Happiness!!

Tell Me What You Think?

Crescent Heart

By: Alicat Desire

Introduction:

Hello my darling, my name is Fiend and I’m going to kill you. Now, don’t panic it’s going to be quick so you won’t feel a thing. So, let’s continue with this wacky adventure and end your life. I’m not your typical teenager now. I grew up in a fucked up house and when I say fucked up... well, let me just tell you. When I was born, I killed my mother it wasn’t on purpose. She died giving birth to my twin sister Angelic and I… after that, my father went cannibal. He made Angelic and I grow up eating humans without us knowing it. At age 13, my father found out our secret we kept hidden away from him.

Our father ended up making us kill for the first time and showed us how to prepare a human meal. I say, at first I thought it was gross, but as I got older it grew on me. I grown to understand his insanity… and I liked it. We killed for our father and with each kill we made we got cut on the arms.

 On our 15^Th birthday, the cops arrested our father and the children services took Angelic and I. The only reason they didn’t send us to jail was because our father took all the blame for the murders. We were put into foster care with other kids and were watched by a staff. I’ll admit now just as well Angelic would, I wanted to kill people and feast upon them. ‘Cause the food they was giving us was causing problems.

Anyways, I knew… we knew, that we couldn’t kill or eat humans anymore. We had to fit in with the rest of the human population or we will face consequences. So, we made ourselves eat their food and we eventually adapted to it. A month, before our 16^Th birthday we got adopted by an old couple named Missy and Jack. They were good parents to us and they sent us to school and did all the other usual typical family stuff.

I mostly tried to keep to myself because I feel too awkward, so I would be mostly quite.Angelic was a little more social than me but at times she would keep to herself when she doesn’t feel right. Angelic and I took on several fighting courses to improve our skills for when we needed to defend ourselves. Once we were 18 we got cars, graduated and moved out the house. Today, we are 19 and on a very special quest.

You’ve met my sister Fiend, don’t you just love her. Well, I’m going to tell you the secret our father discovered. My sister and I have a special gift that we developed at the age of 9. I’m going to tell you Fiend’s gift… now she forgot to mention to you that she is blind. Her being blind doesn’t slow her down at all. She can only see shadowed figures and she can see into the future whenever she wants. Fiend is a skilled swordsman, so when you see her walk around with her cane watch out, it’s a sword.

Now me, myself, and I… well I’m able to move objects with my mind. Not only that, I can close my eyes and visualize an object that’s from a distance and bring it to me. I’m skilled in daggers; I have two daggers I like to hide in my boots and I can throw right on target when I need to. Then, Fiend and I share one gift and that’s reading other people’s minds. This also gives us an advantage to talk to each other without others hearing a whisper from us.

Enough with that… Fiend mentioned to you about how we are on a special quest, I’m going to tell you. The special quest is to find out how we obtained these powers, why we have them and if possible what are we? We both know this is going to be a long journey for us just to find these answers.

Homosexuality, Love, Respect, and Opinion

Okay, I would like to say homosexuality is not a choice for all people. Some of the people who are homosexual didn't have a choice they was born that way. It's been proven, like there is a such thing as twin lesbians.... so would it mean it could be genetics? Also, have anyone heard of the word LOVE!?! Why should homosexual people be told they can't Love the same sex? That they have to Love the opposite sex because reproduction was made for opposite sex. Hello it's Love people if you are in Love you would know it's a powerful thing..... instead of wanting the person, you feel like you need the person. So, why should others tare Love between the same sex apart. It's like in all seriousness, I just want to call you guys who judge homosexuality that your a immature, ignorant, narrow minded, homophobes!! 'But that would be wrong of me to judge you and tare you down. Honestly what, I'm going to tell you is learn to RESPECT (this is a word we have been taught since we were a child) other people choices and who they are (life style and all) and accept that. Why? 'Because you, me, or anyone else can't change other people. So don't try to because when you "state your opinion" it makes it sound like your trying to tare others down and change them. This would make you look dumb if you argue back with people over it. It's like the saying, "If you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all." The reason for this saying is because it starts stupid unnecessary arguments. (These sayings were made to make humans better people so we would treat others better to make happiness, love, and peace, all the good stuff; which reminds me "Treat other the way YOU want to be treated.")  Also learn to stop abusing opinion, it was made so we the people can have our individuality, our own voice. Not to tare others or try to change them because YOU think its the right thing to do. Reality check there isn't a such thing as right or wrong its based upon OPINION. So with all that said, I would suggest you to re-read this and make sure this sinks into your skull, so you don't come back at me with something mean to say. I'm not trying to change anyone even though it may sound like it but all, I'm doing is stating the truth and trying to teach people of it. Well, only thing left to say is... Peace!!

Life Lesson

The sad girl started to think to herself about the boy she is in love with. She thought about how they used to be, when they where together but knew they weren't together now. She misses him dearly and wishes they were back together again. Her mother sitting next to her driving the car and asked her, "What are you thinking about?" The girl sits there and tries to find her words and speaks, "I'm thinking about Zeke.... I'm still in love with him and wish we could be together again. 'But he is in love with my best friend now." Her mother sighs and smiles at her daughter and said, "Kate, I know how you feel, I been there before. I was madly in love with a guy named Mark but then, I moved to Texas. After few years, I moved back to Ohio and met Luke and got over him, but one day riding the bus to work. I see this guy sitting across from me was staring at me. I turn and look back at him and think to myself, I know him. Then, I remembered he rode the bus many times before with me. Also, someone else that was on the bus knew him called him Mark. At that moment, I knew it was him, the guy I fell in love with before I moved. I knew, I could of went back to Luke's place pack up all my things and leave with him and things would be different. 'But, I reminded myself he really didn't want me then and probably wouldn't really want me now. So, why waste my time with him? So, I decided not to go with him and stayed with Luke." The mother pauses for a moment to think of what to say next, Kate speaks up, "How long did you stayed in love with Mark?" "I stayed in love with him for 4 years but point is you would eventually get over Zeke and fall in love with someone else. It may continue to follow in a cycle, repeating itself and then you would find the one that would stay and die with you. I know it may hurt when you fall in love and can't have the person. 'But when you find that one guy who will stay, it would be worth it in the end because your heart would be finally healed. There would be no more pain after that so Kate just give it some time. Also, I'm glad I didn't leave off with Mark because I wouldn't have had you and a lot of other things that I have now." Kate smiled at her mother and says, "Thanks for talking to me mom, I kinda needed it." The mother pulls up to the house and both of them got out the car and walked inside.