Life Lesson

The sad girl started to think to herself about the boy she is in love with. She thought about how they used to be, when they where together but knew they weren't together now. She misses him dearly and wishes they were back together again. Her mother sitting next to her driving the car and asked her, "What are you thinking about?" The girl sits there and tries to find her words and speaks, "I'm thinking about Zeke.... I'm still in love with him and wish we could be together again. 'But he is in love with my best friend now." Her mother sighs and smiles at her daughter and said, "Kate, I know how you feel, I been there before. I was madly in love with a guy named Mark but then, I moved to Texas. After few years, I moved back to Ohio and met Luke and got over him, but one day riding the bus to work. I see this guy sitting across from me was staring at me. I turn and look back at him and think to myself, I know him. Then, I remembered he rode the bus many times before with me. Also, someone else that was on the bus knew him called him Mark. At that moment, I knew it was him, the guy I fell in love with before I moved. I knew, I could of went back to Luke's place pack up all my things and leave with him and things would be different. 'But, I reminded myself he really didn't want me then and probably wouldn't really want me now. So, why waste my time with him? So, I decided not to go with him and stayed with Luke." The mother pauses for a moment to think of what to say next, Kate speaks up, "How long did you stayed in love with Mark?" "I stayed in love with him for 4 years but point is you would eventually get over Zeke and fall in love with someone else. It may continue to follow in a cycle, repeating itself and then you would find the one that would stay and die with you. I know it may hurt when you fall in love and can't have the person. 'But when you find that one guy who will stay, it would be worth it in the end because your heart would be finally healed. There would be no more pain after that so Kate just give it some time. Also, I'm glad I didn't leave off with Mark because I wouldn't have had you and a lot of other things that I have now." Kate smiled at her mother and says, "Thanks for talking to me mom, I kinda needed it." The mother pulls up to the house and both of them got out the car and walked inside.

Unanswered

A woman walking in the woods with the moon so high and stars shinning so bright, on a quest to find the answers she needs. She stops to see a bright light and out came was mother nature herself, in spirit. Stunned by her beauty and to see mother nature herself, the woman can't speak. Mother nature parts her lips and speaks with a voice like water, "My child, I have been watching you for a long time and see your troubles and you came here to find answers, yes?" The woman cokes to find her words, "Yes I have, I've been so angry but so sad." Mother nature replies, "I see my child, you also feel unimportant, alone, used, and lost." "Yes," replied the woman, "I guess there is no point in telling you my troubles when you already know." Mother nature smiles and laughs, "Yes that is true my child but you and I both know where you can find your answers. It's not here with me, you will have to find the answers within yourself because I can't make your choices for you. 'But, I can tell you one thing do what is best for you." Mother nature disappeared into the darkness and the woman was left to think to herself. Unsure of what to do the woman falls to the ground and closes her eyes. The woman awoke the next day and smiled, for now she knows the answers she needed because it was givin' to her in a dream.




Gawh, I wish it was easy like that, where you are able to wake up the next day and find the answers you need. 'But like it said in the story I just got to do what's best for me and if it doesn't work out as I thought, I just got to keep trying.

The Rain of Thought

I went out in the rain today around 3 A.M. I tell you it was the most wonderful feeling standing in the rain and feeling each and every cold wet drop fall on your skin. Breathing in and tasting the rain drops. Feeling the coldness on the concrete ground didn't fulfill the feeling. 'But feeling the cold damp muddy grass on my feet did. The wind blowing the trees... it felt magical. It felt like it was too much to bare, my body shakes not because of how cold it was outside. Being outside made me think, such a wonderful precious place that gives life is all going to crumble into nothing but death. It's even harder to think my own kind; humans are to blame but, I can forgive because I'm no different. It makes me question humans if they have the ability to change to save this world before it's too late. It seems pointless, just looking around and seeing how humans are so interested in their own lives to even open their eyes to the bigger picture. Most people refuse to see the bigger picture because the truth hurts but I know better. Even though the truth hurts.... you just got to learn to forgive and move on. I know it may be a difficult task to do for people but if you really just try... you can go far and not be held back. Talking about how the truth hurts makes me think of this quote I heard off a movie, "The truth can make everything else seem like a lie." I believe that to be true because I've seen it happen and if you think about it long and hard you would know it's true too. Anyways being out in that rain got me emotional, I felt like crying. It even made me think when is the world going to end. Would I be able to find my true love before then? Get married? Have beautiful children and watch them grow, how my parents watched me grow? Would, I be able to die of old age before I see the day come? 'But the big question that arose in my head was.... would humans be able to open their eyes to the bigger picture and make a better change before then? Or would they be able to get a second chance when the day comes? 'But all I can do is move on with life and try to open others' eyes as I go and hope for the best. Also, I'm going to make a change for myself.... I'm going to stop hiding who I really am on the inside.

Strange

It's strange how things work in life but it has its purpose. Which we do not know why things goes a way we do not expect but in the end it eventually becomes clear to us. When it does it would feel like a breathe a fresh air and a huge weight has been lifted off. Then you have the chance to move forward with life and start over new.

My Consant Fight Over Love

Ok, I was going to put myself in third person but, I ended up changing my mind. Anyways, I been thinking a lot tonight about love and, I feel like crap. I know ever since, I was a child all I dreamt about was finding true love. Well looking back at my past relationships, I know I haven't found my true love. 'But looking into the future, I wonder if I would even find my true love. I know, I do have a lot of love to give but with all that love inside it doesn't want to wait anymore. In other words, I would rather for my true love to be handed to me than for me to have to look for them. Then again, I feel like giving up on finding my true love because it seems like a lost cause and I'm only hurting myself wanting love. 'But a part of me doesn't want to give up hope and keep looking. 'But when, I look at others love lives and see how love brought so much pain. It makes me scared of finding true love because if something was to happen to my love or something was to tare us apart. I would feel that pain and I don't want to feel it because, I saw what the pain of love can do to people. I'm already depressed and if I was to find true love it would bring me out of it but if something bad happens I would be dead. Being dead is way worse than depression my best friend told me and I don't want to be dead. 'But maybe with every problem that arises within love is to only make it stronger. I don't know what to do anymore, I use to be able to figure everything out but now since I'm older and see things in a different way than I use to. It makes it hard for me to help myself when I need it the most. I'm too independent and some what stubborn to even ask others for help when I need it. Its mostly because I feel like I'm alone and that I can't trust anyone. I am heavily conflicted about this as you can tell but, I will eventually find the answer I need or maybe, I already have the answer and I'm too blind to even see it. Then if I'm blind... maybe I'm too blind to realize, I already found my true love.

Numbero Uno

YAY!!!! My first post!! :) I really don't have anything to say for now but something will come to me eventually.