Losing!

How many more people I care about I'm going to lose? I tired of this happening. It make me feel like crap. What makes it worse is when I didn't do anything wrong. Makes me wonder how important I really am to them. If I'm even worth it enough to keep around. Its like I'm cursed or something. Am I suppose to be loner or what? Is there something about me I don't see. I know I've lied before but I've changed that. All I ever do now is try to help people but it never works. Am I not doing enough for them? I just want to stop losing people close to me but I don't know how to end it.

Trying To Forget!

You what bugs me the most, is thinking or even dreaming about someone you are trying to forget or already have forgotten. There has been one person in particular, I can't stop dreaming about. It's like when I think I've forgotten about them. They pop up in my dreams like a parasite reminding me of the things that was said and done between us. Not only that the dreams are things I know that would never happen. At first in my dreams, we got into a fight with Michael and their fellow friends being there. Then after that, each dream has consisted of us making up and being best friends like old times. I don't know what any of this means.... Like do they think about me? Do they or I miss the friendship we once had with them.... Or if they or I wish things never happen the way it did... Or that they or I wish we could be friends again??? Do they even have the same dreams as me? I don't know and I wish I knew the answer to it all. I just hope these dreams I have of them ends eventually. I'm tired of being reminded of how bad I screwed up. 'But I guess it is what I deserve, right?

Haren Ademaro Armstrong! :)

Haren is of now; a month, three weeks, and three days old! He's getting so big!!

 

 

Daddy and son!

 

Feeding from boob lol.

Having a good dream. He's probably dreaming about boobs. haha

Getting aggressive with feeding off of boob lol. XD

Binkie!!

Mean muggin'.

Mr. Happy

 

BIG SMILE!

Cat (Aries) sleeping with Haren.

Mr. Smiley! :)

"MMM?"

"What are you doing mommy?"

Look at that tounge!

Mr. Curious



Hospital Pictures!!

Haren's birthday is 09/26/2013 and the time he was born at was 4:09pm.



Haren sleeping after being weighed, poked my nurses, and fed.

Epidural made mea little loopy but I hated being paralyzed from the waist down.

Michael's mom Cheryl was there from the start but had to leave shortly after Haren was born to go back to Cali.

Michael and Cheryl posing next to me while I was in the process of pushing Haren out.

Before I had to push.

Michael and Haren. Michael ended up crying. :)

Me holding my son before I ended up feeding him.

Look at meh belly it so big!

Michael and I posing together.

Haren weighed 7lbs and 5 1/2 oz.

Poke the belly!!

 

Grandma holding Haren.

Look at him! He so cute!!

Me smiling for picture.

Haren was 201/3 in long.